Mental Health in Recovery

I’ve struggled with my mental health for years. While my depression is not so severe, it can still be paralyzing sometimes. I’ve definitely seen the 12 Promises come true time and again, but life still has its ups and downs.

Someone in AA once told me that if I worked a proper program, and completely relied on my Higher Power, then I wouldn’t need medication for my depression anymore. That made me feel really bad. Am I not working a proper program? Am I somehow defective? What was wrong with me that I couldn’t get my act together, and be the happy, bubbly person I once was?

I mean, I’m great at putting on a smile and pretending to the outside world that everything’s fine. But in program, I need to practice rigorous honesty. The fact that I recently admitted to my sponsor, fellows, therapist, and psychiatrist how much I was suffering shows how much I’ve grown. I admit my powerlessness to God, and pray that He remove these character defects from me. That’s all I can do. The results are not up to me.

Two things in recovery give me hope. One is the many moments of happiness that I’ve felt through my recovery. The second one is this paragraph from the Big Book (page 133):

Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight, nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies. Hardly one of our crowd now shows any mark of dissipation.
But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.
BIG BOOK P. 133

The Big Book has it right there. While I can work a solid program, it’s also OK to get outside help. It’s OK to bring my “outside issues” to helpful professionals. And it’s OK to follow their advice, and yes – fill and take their prescriptions. After I admitted my recent struggles, my psychiatrist decided to raise the dose of my medication. And it’s my job to listen. I can make use of every tool God has given me – a great SA program, combined with the best of mental health science.

It’s not easy for me to write articles here, and share my inner struggles with the public. It hurts my pride. But giving over my experience to others is part of the service I need to keep me sober.

I want all of you out there that are suffering with mental health to know: you are not alone. Go see your mental health professional, and hopefully, with the help of our Higher Power, we can together reach the promise of “a new happiness we could otherwise never know”

Please feel free to reach out and share your experience, strength and hope with me.

To contact the author, visit https://sa-israel.org/en/contact