Trust that God has a Plan

My recovery began back in the USA. I had a sponsor, a meeting I loved going to, and a handful of fellows that I connected with. I thought my recovery support system was great – but that scared me. Because before I’d gotten engaged to my husband, before I’d even started program, we had decided to move to Israel after our marriage. And there I was, a newbie in recovery with an overseas move looming.

To say I was in fear is about right. I was scared of change. I was scared that I wouldn’t manage in a foreign country with a foreign language, and I was dead scared that I would relapse. I didn’t know anyone, and didn’t know if I’d feel at home in a totally new set of meetings. I’d ask G-d “Why? Why now, when I’m finally getting a grip on my recovery?”

My sponsor and other program members told me not to worry. They said to surrender the fear, and trust that God has a better plan in store for me. But I didn’t believe them.

Now, I look back at myself and laugh. Because I cannot compare the recovery I had in the USA, to the recovery I’ve gotten here.

For the first time, I’ve experienced what true fellowship means. The humor, the friendship, the honesty, the accountability and the nods of “I’ve been there, too.” I’ve been given the opportunity to be of service, and witnessed the power it has had in my continuing recovery. Back when I was in the USA, there were times when I‘d go to a meeting and leave feeling depressed and lonely. I don’t think that’s ever happened to me here. It might be because I’ve grown since then, but I think it’s because the atmosphere in our meetings here is truly happy, joyous and free.

Nowadays, when I’m faced with unexpected change and get caught up in fear, I simply tell myself: “Hey, remember the move?” I can then relax, and trust that God will work his magic.