Hi,
I am Allison, the other half of the ESH committee. We are really excited to start up this blog. Personally I have a few reasons for being involved.
- Because it’s service and service gets me out of my crazy head and causes me to start thinking about others. That helps keep me sober. I have 3 years and 8 months of sobriety (as of 07/28/2021) and I would like to keep that number growing. So as Dr. Bob said, I do service for me, first and foremost for my sobriety.
- I do think we have a nice fellowship here in Jerusalem and we have what to share with our fellow SA groups. So I hope the good stuff we got can be transferred into writing and made readable and helpful for others. Don’t get me wrong – we aren’t perfect and it takes us time to get newcomers who get some length of sobriety, but there is a lot of good to share. So I guess we will write a bit about the good and the bad so we can grow and learn.
- Lastly, I know that I like to connect to the fellowship, so this blog will be another path and gateway for members to get more program. Maybe one day we will have enough info here to make a little book, but for now we will share our ESH one article at a time.
So a bit about me, I’m a woman, 28 years old, single and sober 3 years. My M.O.s are pornography, masturbation, obsession with men and lust. I got sober right when I came to the program. My hypothesis is after 15 years of acting out I was super desperate, so G-d helped me out. I was living a double life and basically a zombie. I was always either reading romance novels or watching pornography, slowly losing my grip on reality.
What I’m like today: Imperfect but healthier. I recently made a big career switch, something I probably would not have been able to accomplish before the program. Program has put me back into the grasp of reality, back in G-d’s universe.
The fellowship here in Israel has been a huge part of my recovery since I entered the rooms. I was essentially the second woman to stick around after the first woman joined 16 years before me. The men not only welcomed me but requested I’d stay; they didn’t want this fellowship to be a men’s club. I used to sit in the meetings and share how much I hate that there are so many men in this fellowship. The men accepted that, they didn’t get angry at me for bashing them. I took the phone number of a few men in the meeting with multiple years of sobriety, they are my fellows till this day. Now I don’t think too much about it, the meetings are home, and most of the men are my brothers.
Over time a few girls have joined. One in a neighboring town is my sponsee and we are working Step 9 together now! Some of the women disappeared, some are struggling, a few have sobriety, and they are all my friends. One is even my boss now!!!
Over the following blog posts when it’s my turn to write I’m going to think about what aspects of our fellowship have been so helpful to me, and which haven’t. This blog is named after a song one of my fellows wrote, “The Road to Freedom’“. I couldn’t agree more, sobriety has put me on the road to freedom. I feel it more every day. It’s a long, winding road, but it does lead me to freedom – freedom from the shackles of fear, into the loving arms of a Higher Power who wants the best for me.
Can’t wait to write more, until then have a great day,
From your fellow,
Allison.
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